15 Year Anniversary Congress

We are off to St. Petersburg, Russia. These are not my pictures but they give you a taste of some of my favorite places in St. Petersburg. SO EXCITED!!

Here is a picture of some of our corps people in St. Petersburg, taken in March of '97!

Mother May I?

Mother may I?
A game we played
In the courtyard.

The back of a
Stain glassed Jesus
Looked on…

Mother may I,
Take three small steps?
Yes, you may.

And
Three small steps
I took.

Mother may I?
Leap like a frog?
No.

You must stand still!
Unfair!
I whined.

As
My brother
Passed me by.

All the while
The stain glassed Jesus
Looked on.

Now in life it's
much the same
Or should be.

Lord,
May I go forward?
Yes! He says.

And I
Move toward
Him.

Lord,
Is this your will?
No, My child,

And
I stand
Still.

Another
Passes me
By.

Yet, He
No longer
Looks at me

from a
A stain glassed
Perch.

The courtyard
Is
My heart.

And
He is flesh
And blood.

Lord,
May I?
Yes! You may

And
I draw
Near.

A little closer
A baby step
A giant leap.

It’s not who
Gets there first
That counts.

But, that
We may
Approach.

And
Closer
Still.

Each
Step
We take,

We
Draw
Near.

May I?
Yes! My child,
You may.

- cjb

Clouds from a plane

Clouds white like marshmallows.
Spreading out beneath us.
Cool whip swirls.
With sunbeams
Breaking through.

What would it be like
To run in them?
To wrap them around my body
Like a feather comforter,
For a Sunday afternoon nap?

Too bad it’s only vapor.
Not as thick as it looks!
No real substance to hold.
I’d fall through, I’d get cold.
But beautiful from afar!

Appearances of comfort,
of softness, of warmth.
Inviting- but nothing…
Only vapor.
Spreading out beneath us.

-cjb

The Pope and his wife

I met with the Pope and his lovely wife today! Jason and Kelly Pope.
It was our first meeting, only really knowing each other through blogging. I really felt it was a divine meeting. I had a sense as we were talking that in the future this moment would come back into my mind to orchestrate something bigger. The providence of God is a mystery. I wait with anticipation to see how God will unfold His inspired plan.
So thanks Drew for pulling me into the deep end of blogging!

Vacation in Atlanta and Jefferson, Georgia

Isaiah 60:5 " Then you will look and be radiant, your heart will throb and swell with joy; the wealth on the seas will be brought to you....."

Daniel 3:16-18

"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."


Even if..

Even if none of my words are fulfilled.
Even if things continue on as they were and no one changes.
Even if my adversary is not exposed.
Even if my name is thrown into the fiery furnace,
I will not submit,
I will not bow down,
to anyone but my God.

He can deliver me,
but even if He does not....
I will still serve Him.
I will still believe in the goodness of my God.

Even if I never feel your love.
Even if nothing changes and all my needs go unmet.
Even if you never shower me with blessings.
Even if my heart is cast into the flames.
I will not submit,
I will not bow down,
to anyone but my God.

He can deliver me,
but even if He does not....
I will still serve Him.
I will still believe in the goodness of my God.

Even if I never hear your voice.
Even if you never show me your face.
Even if I lack all confidence and grace.
Even if my assurance is thrown into the fire.
I will not submit,
I will not bow down,
to anyone but my God.

He can deliver me,
but even if He does not....
I will still serve Him.
I will still believe
in the goodness of my God.

I believe in the goodness of my God.
I believe in the goodness of my God.
I will see the goodness of the Lord, in the land of the living.
I believe in the goodness of God.

cjb

The lesson of the Samovar

Have you ever given something to God and then forgot about it?
I once asked my husband for a Samovar ( see picture!) and for whatever reason at the time he didn’t think it was possible. So in my heart, like a little girl irritated for not getting her own way, I went to my Heavenly Father with my request. I know a Samovar is not a huge request for the King of Kings but at the time it seemed to be a big deal to me. So, I asked God and every time the desire for this Samovar came into my heart or mind I would give it to him. Eventually, I forgot about it and was content with the answer from God of “no”. I figure he either took Alastair’s side or he thought me shallow for asking. At any rate, he decided I didn’t need it and I let the request go into the air and out of my heart and mind.
Three years later we were no longer living in Russia. It was our anniversary and Alastair brought in this fairly large box and placed it before me. At the time, I honestly had no idea what could have been inside. I am sure you have guessed ……..there it was…..my Samovar.
Not only was it a great gift but the timing of when it was given was a reminder to me of how God really does work all things out in His time. He hears every prayer and the whispers of my heart. My shallow request are just as important to him as the ones I deem as having some depth.
This all happened many years ago yet I am reminded of it now because God did it again!
No, not another Samovar but another answer to prayer, a secret desire of my heart.
Alastair and I have been invited to St. Petersburg, Russia for a Congress, celebrating 15 years of the Army in St. Petersburg. When I heard about this congress and how everyone would be gathered together, my heart went once again to my Heavenly Father. If this was going to happen it would have to come from HIM! I asked God back in May even though I had been thinking about it and desiring it since Feburary. I carriedthe request in my heart until the middle of July. In July I figured time had passed and for whatever reason God must have decided against it. Once again, I let my request go into the air and forgot all about it. I was disappointed but had a peace in my heart. On the first Sunday of Old Orchard Beach camp meetings after the alter call was finished, Commissioner Moretz approached Alastair and me. He told us that the Eastern Europe Command has invited us to the Congress and he was pleased to let us go for the occasion. I was taken by surprise to say the least! The Congress is this Labor Day weekend. When I heard the words I was overwhelmed once again with the perfect timing of God. I think I scared the Commissioner since I was instantly overwhelmed with tears. Alastair reassured him that these were happy tears and although he was not crying he was excited about the invitation too. :)
God’s grace and expression of love to me is in the simple fact that he really does know the whispers of my heart and this is the greater gift everytime.

I can trust him with my request. I can trust His answer…whether it is no, yes or wait……..for HIS timing is perfect!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

James 1:17

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Marked reflection

Only a reflection
As in a mirror
An image
A form
Of what is.
What we see.
Or perceive,
Of who we are.

Yet,
Promised
So much more.
Now,
We know
In part
Then,
We shall
Know fully.

Breathe
The warmth
Of your breath
On the glass
Of my soul.
Leave the
Fingerprint of God
Upon my mirror.

So, when others
Draw near
To share
A breath of life
A moment
They may see
The mark of God
Pressed on me.

Breathe
And it will appear
Not because
I put it there
But because
I've been touched
By the hand of God.

No reflection
Will be seen
Past the mark
He made.
When others look,
In my mirror
And breathe.

-cjb

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

1 Corinthians 13:12 (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

White Nights

Not the 1985 movie! But the real White Nights in St. Petersburg, Russia.
I was on the phone with a friend yesterday from St. Pete and was reminded that now is the time to stay awake and celebrate their beautiful city though the night.

This link on White Nights will tell you more.
I will leave you with some pictures and a poem about my last time in St. Petersburg during the White Nights.

White nights.
Palaces light up
People stroll.
Young love laughs
And lingers by the riverside
As bridges rise.

The eternal flame
Burns and dances
While two friends
Sing a melancholy song,
Farewell.
Time stands still.
And harmony hangs
In the early morning mist.

A language sung
Not my own,
But my heart
Knows the tempo
It carries the
Beat of my soul.

White nights
Light up the city.
Memories are forever
Etched into my mind.
They linger like the song
And burn in my heart
Like the eternal flame.

-cjb

The eternal flame

Corps tent camping and rafting trip

The family before the river.

Emma wouldn't stand with us.....probably offended she wasn't going.

Emma saying good bye. Don't go Mommie!!

The River

We had a great time! More pictures on Flicker. Most shots are before.
I have only this one of us on the actual rapids...
I have to admit I get really wound up on these trips and throw my whole self into the event.

The river wars are the best part, after the rapids. Everyone has water guns and buckets of water and when the river is calm it is all out war on the other rafts. I have bruises to prove it. The girls have a bit of there mother in them! They took the water in the face like real troopers and gave some back too! Al was the Captian of our vessel.

Emma spent the afternoon with her granddad Bate. They had a good time and even got a nap in!

I woke up feeling a little older this morning. Hard to get out of bed! :)

Life's experience

Say what you mean
Mean what you say
You speak
Smiling
With a forked tongue.
If it had been an enemy
Speaking such harsh words
I would have hurt
But not like this.
Your words
Are betrayal
Of a friendship
And a respect
Once mutual.

Who are you?
Our God will judge.
Who am I you say?
My Lord will answer.
For although I only hear
The whispers of your slander.
My God hears all.

He sees through
The smiles
The pleasantries
The “Just kidding” demeanor
And he looks
At the heart.
I’ve been
caught off guard.
But not again.
My forgiveness?
Yes,
It’s yours.
But,
You will never
Be a friend.

-cjb

This poem started out as a reaction to something not really that big but then I saw where it was going, I drew from old wounds that the Lord has healed. That's why I called it "life's experience" because....it isn't really about one particular moment but a mix of moments that sir up these feelings.
I put it up because, I think a lot of people have experienced this to some degree.
Can anyone relate??

While Women Weep

My blogs have been way to serious or poetic lately.

Don't be offended with this blog ...

some women carry burdens that no one understands! ;)

The marginalised, the oppressed and those who's pain is sometimes overlooked.

Sallie Chesham

"Walking with the Wind" by Sallie Chesham

I just revisited this book on my shelf. I was reminded of the Lt. Colonel's poetry and ability to be different, to be herself within the structure that God had called her to serve in.
When I was a teenager I met Mrs. Chesham. She soldiered at the Cambridge Corps in Massachusetts in her retirement.
Here is one of her poems:

DEATH MARCH

Lord, stumble me!
A fall is better
Than this stolid step
Behind a thousand others,
Mechanical,
Ongoing only
Because of tradition's whip
And lip,
The pagan drive of power.

Stumble me, Lord!
And if I then regain
My feet,
I'll march with zest
Even if behind the rest.
If not, perhaps
The ragged lump there
In the road
Will make another stop,
And, startled,
Straighten up,
Gathering himself to You;
March on, soldier!
Or else, he may stumble too
Over me,
And falling, stop another
In the mechanistic line,
Who will come to himself
And You.

Oh, stumble, stumble me, Lord

Going deeper sermon

Last summer at Old Orchard Beach, Emma ran straight into the water without fear. In her toddler excitement she didn’t realize the power of the ocean, the size, the depth, the pull.
It reminded me of Lydia’s first time seeing the ocean and her reaction. She ran the other way and held tight to Alastair as he tried to take her in….one step at a time.

We each are different even from a young age. How do you enter into the water? Ocean or pool? Big toe first? , ease in backwards….slowly down a ladder? Do you dive in the deep end head first? Our caution or lack of fear tells a little bit of who we are.
In Ezekiel 47 we enter into this portion of scripture more than half way through the vision of Ezekiel of the Temple in Jerusalem.

Now vision accounts, especially the symbolic and allegorical types, grasp the imagination and evoke feelings in ways that ordinary language cannot. Like poetry they present an interpretation of reality and invite the reader or listener to share it. Although they were originally experienced and recorded to address a particular historical situation of the past, their symbolic character gives them meaning and application beyond their original contexts. [1]

Ezekiel is being lead in this vision by a man whose appearance was like bronze ( 40:3) This man here in Chapter 47 has a measuring line and begins to measure the water that was flowing out from the Temple. In verse 3 we see that the water is only ankle deep, then in verse 4 it is measured as knee deep and then Ezekiel is lead through the water up to his waist. Vs. 5 then tells us that the water becomes so high that “it was deep enough to swim in – a river that no one could cross.”
Hebrew has a good many different words often rendered ‘river’, although this is not always an accurate translation of the original term.
The Hebrew word "nahal" is common, the meaning is a torrent-valley; in summer a dry river-bed or ravine, but a raging torrent in the rainy season. These river-beds could suddenly become raging torrents. (like flash floods) In Ezekiel’s vision it was a nahal that Ezekiel saw issuing from the Temple ( 47:5–12 ). It starts out shallow and then becomes so deep and strong that “no one could cross it.”
The rivers and waterways are where virtually all major cities in the ancient world were located, because they made transportation and commerce possible and provided irrigation for farming. Metaphorically, rivers or streams of flowing (living) water symbolize salvation or the Spirit of God
Jesus himself said “Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive.”
So if we were to look at this passage of Scripture Ezekiel 47 in the light of the New Testament.
Understanding the historical content but also believing that this scripture has something to say to us today.
We can look at this river flowing from the temple as the Spirit of God.
We can see it comes from the Temple where the presence of God resides.
If we look into John’s book of Revelation Chapter 22 we see in the first verse “The river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb.”
So God is the source of this river. We also see later in Ezekiel 47 that this river turns the Dead Sea to life and produces fruit and healing. These are also traits of the Spirit in the believers life. For when we are born of the Spirit we have new life and that new life brings forth fruit and healing.
So let us walk into the River with Ezekiel. Are you ready? Let us walk into the Spirit! Starting slowly…..only ankle deep----God does not throw anyone into the deep end! Then a little deeper …….knee deep. Will you go further? Up to your waist? Then what?? Do we stop? How deep will we go? How deep can we go into the Spirit?….into the things of God?
In the call of Peter in the book of Luke Jesus says to Peter ( Luke 5 :4) “ put out into deep water and let down your nets.” Jesus is always calling us into a deeper relationship with him. Peter’s obedience went against everything he knew to be true, going into the deep had not helped him a bit all night. They caught no fishes….but when Christ called him to “put out into the deep” and Peter obeyed he did not come back empty handed.
What stops us from going deeper? Why do we stand on the edge looking at the water? Why can some of us only bring ourselves to go ankle deep or knee deep?
Maybe it is the power of the river that scares us? If it was a torrent river as the Hebrew word suggest in this scripture, and we know that the Spirit of God is powerful………..maybe we stand on the banks or only go knee deep because we fear the water. We know it is more powerful than we are, we know that it could overwhelm us, sweep us a way….we could die.
But isn’t that in fact what living a Spirit filled life is all about? Dying…. dying to self!
By staying on the banks or only going so deep we feel like we are still in control. We are not trusting God fully, we have not completely abandoned ourselves to the Spirit.
God does not want us to be just symbolically be sprinkled or dipped into His Spirit. He wants us to be totally immersed in his Spirit! Baptized!
Like those old ice tea commercials that had someone falling into a pool and the man said “take the plunge” ----We need to fall into the Spirit of God. It is really a matter of trust and control.
The benefits of “swimming in over our head” in the Spirit are too many to count!
Once, I was playing in the pool with the girls and Heather realized, as we were being silly, that in the water she could pick me up! In water objects are lighter. :)
It is true of the Spirit as well! In the Spirit our burdens are not as heavy. We can lift things that normally would be too heavy for us to carry on our own.
Where are you in our walk with God? Have you gotten your feet wet? Have you been baptized in the river of life, baptized in God’s spirit? If so….how deep are you willing to go? God is calling all his disciples to “put out into the deep”……do not be afraid….take the plunge. You will not be disappointed!
Will you approach this opportunity cautiously or will you run towards God straight into the water--- no fear!
Give into the power, the depth, and the pull of God’s Spirit. Go deeper.
Imagine if everyone in your place of worship was totally immersed in the Spirit of God, having given up his or her own life to the flow of the Spirit.
His will not ours.
His ways not mine.
Imagine all that God could accomplish through us not only as individuals but also as a body of believers.

[1] Achtemeier, P. J., Harper & Row, P., & Society of Biblical Literature. 1985. Harper's Bible dictionary. Includes index. (1st ed.) . Harper & Row: San Francisco

Simple Days

Catch
The painting
In your window,
Life is quickly
Passing by.
Summer gardens,
Tall grass growing,
White porch cottage,
Beneath blue skies.
Laundry in the
Breeze is blowing.
A red bird flies
Across the road.
All life’s colors.
On your palette.
Simple days,
Paint them

Bold.

-cjb

Back from vacation in Maine!

Happy Meal

They passed a little beggar girl
Walked right into McDonalds.
The little girl, the age of his,
Yet, she had know life’s sorrows.

When they had finished eating
And stepped again outside,
The golden arch behind them.
The beggar caught his eye.

She sat there on the curb,
Too young to be alone.
He handed her a happy meal
His daughter gave her cone.

She smiled and said “thank you”
Change was what she sought.
Yet, quickly ate the contents
Of everything he bought.

You may not like this poem
Judgments can be made.
Who gives a hungry child,
McDonald’s you might say?

Ice cream in a cone?
Can’t take away her cares!
A “happy meal”?! The irony!
One wonders how he dares!

But on that day two small girls,
Are effected by how he lives.
One girl had enough to eat,
The other learned to give.

-cjb

One Great Sacramental Loaf

"All the world is one great sacramental loaf. We are not- nor will we ever be, God save us- solitary intelligence spinning in the dark void of space. He crowds upon from Sheol to the sea; he jostles our thoughts along the pathways in our brains. He hides in the bushes, jumping out in flames to startle us into seeing. He sequesters himself in stables and swaddling so as to take us unawares. He veils himself in flesh, the same flesh that drips into fingers at the end of my arms and sprouts into hair on my head.
Either the world is holy or it's not. Either the creator's work is a sign of himself or it's a sham. Where else can one draw the line between sacred and profane except around all the cosmos? For "profane", meant originally, outside the temple, and all creation was, in the beginning, a temple for God's "very good." Whenever we eat, drink, breathe, see, take anything in by any means, we are commanded to remember the sacrifice. We try to hedge in the holy, to pour it into tiny, trivial cups, to make bread as pale and tasteless as possible, like fingernails. We are saying to God: Get away from me. Just so, the desert Israelites implored Moses to keep God on the mountain and not bring him down among their tents. As though our immolation by the holy were not our only hope.
Still, we take the big black crayon in our hands and draw these little islands where we will let God live in the world. In the tiny cups and on the unfamiliar silver plates so cold you can see your breath on them. We cover him up with white linen napkins just as they did in the grave. We draw more lines around Bibles and sanctuaries, thus adding a few more islands to this archipelago of the holy, and there you have it. Little concentration camps for Christ. Our incremental piety bristles around the perimeters like barbed wire, hemming him in."

- From And the Trees Clap Their Hands
By Virginia Stem Owens

I am still processing....this is one of my favorite quotes. I would highlight most (if not all of it) if I could.

Although we do not practice communion, I have always related to this quote because I know the God "who hides in bushes and jumps out in flames to startle us into thinking." He seems to like to surprise me and I am always looking for him around every corner.

Yet, I feel so often he is not acknowledged or recognized for the God of surprises that he is. Not recognized for how awesome and magnificent he is! He seems instead to be watered down in our lives so much that all we are left with is a weak impression of what someone once thought he was. Nothing taste good watered down that much.

In our own way, I think we too, box him in ....picking up our big crayons and marking the places we will allow him to move. I do not want to be left with "Little concentration camps for Christ." I do not want to be in a "little concentration camp for Christ."

How is it that we have "found" a way to box in a God who can not be contained?

He broke out of the temple box and spread throughout the world for all mankind.....we catch his wind and try desperately to shove him back in a box again..

Sometimes the box is old and familiar and sometimes the box has new ribbons on it and is more attractive.... it's still a box.

Surprise us Lord!

Don't waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everybody can be great ... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Processing

God always ask
His people
To remember the past,
He established
Celebrations
And fulfils them,
Remember
What I’ve done-
He says.
My faithfulness
to all
Generations.

But, do not
Dwell on it.
Do not worship
What is gone.
For I know
The plans
I have for you
I’ve written
a new song.

Lord,
We’ve heard
Of what
You’ve done
In years
Gone by.
We’ve heard
Of your fame
Don’t leave us dry.
Renew them
In our day.

God doesn’t
Throw out the old
Unless,
It’s sin.
He fulfils all
As originally intended.
He makes it new,
He restores
He heals
God establishes
Traditions
And gives us
Boundaries
In pleasant places.
He saves the best
For last,
And tells us
The end
Is always better
Than the beginning.

When people
Are not what
We want them to be
How quick we are
To judge,
Their Christianity.
Their ways
And demeanor
Don’t suit ours.
Their traditions,
Are our restrictions.
They don’t see,
How they are trapped,
Content,
With what they have.
Hearing God through,
Their outdated methods.

Yet, they faithfully return
Some watch
And wonder why?
Without the overflow
Of emotion.
And their motives
Are questioned…
Pharisees?!
Traditions?!
Music?
With those instruments?!
You must be here
For something else,
You must be quiet
Because your sprits have
Fallen asleep!
Judgments are made
With little exploration.

Have you asked me how,
I came to be here?
Do you know the faithfulness,
And grace I’ve seen dear?
Come in my home
And have some tea-
Her gifts are reverence
And hospitality.

He says real gruff-
I play in the band,
Were not all perfect,
I’m an average man.
But the scriptures say
God will be trumpeted in
I hope to see
That day with Him.
I don't understand
your questions of me,
I come and bring
My family.

So, week after week
They come
To a Hall
That has seen it all.
And quietly,
Faithfully
Take their places
Listening
Waiting
for God.
Who doesn’t come,
To them,
In the storm,
Nor in the thunder,
Nor in the violent wind.
But speaks to them
Through a hymn.
They sit and wait
For the still small voice
And those who seek…
They still do find,
That God
Will meet them,
Every time.

-cjb


Gustave Flaubert:
Our ignorance of history causes us to slander our own times.


If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.
C. S. Lewis


Kurt Vonnegut:
History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again.

The myrtle will grow!

I am in Atlanta visiting my parents while three of my girls are at music camp and the little one is spending quality time with her father.
My mother has become quite the gardener just like her mom. She has dug deep into the red soil of Georgia and has planted many beautiful plants, trees and flowers. Weeds don’t stand a chance around her!
When I arrived she told me about her latest “find” of myrtle trees. She bought two of them and on the ride home from the airport she shared with me her concern on whether they would take to the soil and grow.
In the morning I “happened” to read these verses in my devotional time:

Isaiah 55:12-13

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the LORD's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed."
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society


At breakfast the conversation about the myrtle’s health and general well being, came up. I mentioned my verse…and laughed saying “ you wouldn’t have any juniper growing here too would you?!” and she replied “ yes, I planted it in the back.” So I ran and got my Bible and we read these verses together. God is good. He makes me smile.
So, my parent’s new retirement home has juniper in their backyard and myrtle in the front!
And, by the way…..we are taking it as a word from the Lord that the myrtle WILL grow! No thornbushes and no briers here.

Last Day of School

One more school year has just finished for my children. Heather brought home an excellent report card yesterday and we will see the other two report cards today. I am not worried.
I can’t believe how fast this year has gone! How fast the past three years have gone. We arrived here in Montclair 3 years ago and hit the ground running. I had many concerns (mostly valid) about the girls' adjustment to the States after living overseas for so long. God has worked them all out in His time. I look back now and see how He settled us in our “home”.

Hosea 11:11 (NIV)
11 They will come trembling

like birds from Egypt,

like doves from Assyria.

I will settle them in their homes," declares the LORD.
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

This is the verse God gave me when I moved to Russia in 1994 and He settled me in my “home” there for 9 wonderful years. When it was time to come back to the States…I returned with the same feelings I had leaving. Fear and trembling seemed to resonate with me! Yet, God once again spoke these words to me and has been faithful to keep this promise in my life.
Transition can be difficult but our God is the God who calms not only the waves of Galilee but also those storms in our hearts and minds.
Many of our friends and their children are in transition this week. I share my testimony of God’s grace and power in transition and I share my verse with you. Take it as a promise from God.

Lord, as you have been faithful to me during times of transition, questions and upheaval – Lord, be faithful to those at this time who need you to calm the seas of their hearts and minds. Bring peace where there is worry. Settle them in their homes.
Thank you Lord for your understanding to our humanness.
Thank you for your faithfulness in our everyday lives.

Silly Test

Since, I have nothing very deep or profound to share with you today ....
take a look at this silly test.

What Famous Leader Are You?personality tests by similarminds.com

Hey, I answered the questions honestly! Really, I did!! LOL!

As it turns out .... I am ... Cough, cough- just clearing the throat! ;)
Mother Teresa! LOL!

Sprinkler days

Hot
Humid
Sticky ice pops
Giggles, wet grass
Running , leaping
Drops and sprays
Misty rainbow
Refreshment
Cool

-cjb

Procrastinating or too busy?

I'm a mother of four
With laundry galore
A work that never seems done.
If that weren't enough
There's dishes and stuff
And toys all over the floor.

I'm also a wife
Whose chosen a life
To live with the man
That she loves.
He loves to spend time
But hardly a dime,
Except when it's for
a good cause. :)

I'm also a preacher
a mentor and teacher
A sister, a daughter
And friend.
I've hardly the time
To sit and to rhyme,
The laundry still needs
To get done.
-cjb

FYI stuff and Righteousness ( not my own)

My friend Beth has started a blog and she is a gifted writer. She has a poem up right now called two and a half hours. It is a poem almost everyone can relate to! I know I can.

On a different note, Commissioning weekend is over. It was good to see so many people and friends that we wish we had more time to fellowship with.

Then there was Natasha's 9th birthday party. It was also a success with 15 of her closest friends. ;) She said " It was the best day of her life!"

Pictures will be up on Flicker soon.

Hot off the press....another poem!
A "post commissioning" poem after seeing so many people, so quickly in such a short period of time.

How many times do I walk away and think
Why? Why did you say that?
How? How was Christ in those words?
No excuse, I should know better.

How many times do I walk away and think
Why? Why did I do that?
How? How was Christ seen in that moment?
No excuse. I should know better.

How many times do I stand in the presence of God?
Seek Him, speak to Him, desire more of Him
Then go into the world and disappoint Him?

Yet, He knows me and lavishes me with His Love
He pours out all the riches in Christ Jesus upon me.
He blesses and blesses again

as undeserving as I am.

I have no righteousness on my own
My battle ‘gainst flesh is still not won
But Lord I pray that I will see
Your righteousness;
Reflected,
Consistent,
Active,
Alive
in me.


- cjb

Happy Birthday Natasha!

Lovesick Bear 'Falls' For People Of Spring Valley

(CBS) SPRING VALLEY A 300-pound bear roamed through the Blueberry Hill apartment complex in Spring Valley Tuesday, in search of a mate. Property Supervisor Patrick Flannigan said, "He looked right at me when I was over there, I walked around he just kinda looked around the building and walked the other way."He then climbed 25 feet up a tree, yawned, stretched, and took a nap.

Complete story at this link with video
also including a quote by Mordechai.

( isn’t he related to Esther ?!)

Poor bear looking for love in all the wrong places........No thrill on blueberry hill for him.

Observations in the midst of life

Falling roses in a window
Hung with fishing line.
Pedals lay on the counter
Beauty pleasant to the eye.

Leafy trees with helicopters
Clustered on a tiny twig
Waiting on the wind for take off,
Potential forest- dreaming big.

Beauty falling, hanging still
Pedals dying on the sill.
Potential clustered, clinging tight
Afraid the wind will start the flight.

cjb

100 posts

I was trying to think of something wonderful for my 100th post

but really...

I can't.

I imagine it is best just to acknowledge this mile marker in my blogging life and then quietly move on to post 101, 102, 103.

The name Alastair means defender of men.

On Alastair’s return our youngest ran to him, hugged him and then said
“Daddy! You took a long time!”

All 5 women in his life were happy that he was back, all vying for his attention, all telling every detail of 3 weeks and 5 days without him within the first thirty minutes of his return.

Poor Alastair!

WANTED POSTER

Last seen boarding a bus at the N.J. Divisional headquaters

on May 9th, 2006

Name: Alastair Bate

Also goes by :

AL, Major Bate, Dad, Daddy and Hey you!

Can't wait till you get home!

Don't make me put your picture on a milk carton.

PENCILS!

“ I am only a pencil in God’s hand. God writes through us and however imperfect instruments we may be, God writes beautifully.”
- Mother Teresa

A PENCIL

A pencil in God’s hand
A #2 at best!
Life pressed on the paper
Will I pass the test?
Lines fill up the page
Drawings, letters- shades
More than I can be.
Write Lord, draw Lord!

In your hand make me,

an instrument for Thee.

- cjb

mezhdu prochim ya obidelas! ;)

Some life experiences can wound so deeply. We grieve. Our loss may be: a person, a relationship, an appointment, even the death of a dream. These experiences can cause us to be bitter like Naomi. Naomi wasn’t bitter without reason. Her husband and her two sons had died in a foreign land. Naomi was so grief stricken she told people to call her Mara, which means bitter. At this point in her grief, she could not imagine or recognize how God had already planned for her healing, restoration and future blessing. Ruth had already pledged herself to Naomi before she arrived home and changed her name. With such a moving vow, one would think that Naomi would have felt comfort from her words. Yet, to Naomi, Ruth may have seemed more like an extra burden -- another mouth to feed. However, in the end it is through Ruth that Naomi’s healing, restoration and blessing comes.
I have a Ruth in my life. In the year 2000, I went to the Tblisi, Georgia airport to pick up a 19 year old Salvationist from Volgograd, Russia. She had felt God calling her into ministry and for a time she was called specifically to the people in Georgia.
When she arrived, I didn’t really know much about her and we had only been in the country a short time ourselves. She would be coming back to our apartment to live with us until we could find her a place. She would be responsible for the youth ministry in the region. Honestly, I was a bit overwhelmed with this new appointment and three children all under the age of 7. She was “another mouth to feed”. I was in transition, in-between appointments and in-between cultures. The Georgia culture was nothing like the Russia culture I had been serving in for 6 years. It was a time of adjustment.
How quickly everything changed! Lenna became such a part of our family. 3 months past and we never even looked for an apartment for her. When I asked if it bothered her she said she didn’t want to leave us, she wanted to stay with us. I was thrilled because she brought me such comfort. Lenna is the type of person that anticipates what is needed and then gets to work to do all she can do to help. She always goes above and beyond the call of duty. Lenna can laugh and make me laugh until my sides hurt. I like that part of our friendship. Sometimes she finishes my thoughts as well as my sentences.( in two languages!) Once when she was translating for me she went on to my next point in the study. I whispered to her that I hadn’t said that yet or did I??…she winked and said “ I know, but you were going to!” and she was right. Lenna is also a prayer warrior. She approaches the throne of grace with confidence and consistency. She translates, teaches the Bible, preaches and has the heart of a pastor. When we returned to the States, Lenna was already engaged to Zach. He’s American and they are happily married now living in Nebraska.
So, in a way, Lenna returned to my country with me. “My people are her people.” (As if one can find any similarity between Nebraska and New Jersey! But you get the idea.)

Lenna is my Ruth, God has blessed me through my relationship with Lenna. She has been part of how God has in many ways brought healing, restoration and blessing to me. God provided. God is the one who heals and restores, she was the one who was obedient in administering his grace and love at that time. Through friendship, prayer and a listening ear.

How much of a part of our life is Lenna now? Well, when someone asked one of my daughter’s about their family background….one of them said “We are English, German, Scottish, and Russian.” I chuckled and corrected her saying, “We aren’t Russian! We just lived there for awhile.” The answer came back quickly, “Yes! Mom, we are! LENNA….she’s Russian and she’s our family.” (Adding a tone of “Moms know nothing” helps the last quote to ring true)

Lenna now has a blog site….You will be richer for reading it!
Check her out and give her some comments!
I love you Lennichka!

Our Corps band is on a quick tour in the UK!

We have heard positive reports.

Take a look at our site and you can see for yourself.

http://www.montclaircitadel.org/tour06/

Jesus loves the little children

I am the mother of five children. I had a miscarriage between Natasha my third daughter and Emma my forth. Why would I share something so personal on a blog site? I am not totally sure. All I know is that today I need to write it, to make it known.
We don’t always understand why certain things happen. Why some suffer and others never seem to suffer- as if it can be measured.
Today, I went to a funeral, a funeral for a six month old baby. The mother had been living at our shelter. She had the baby prematurely and it grew from two pounds to eight pounds.
I can’t say that I have ever seen a baby in a casket before. When we walked in we were led to the front of the Baptist Church to view the little one in his white christening outfit. The service began with the minister stepping up to the pulpit and singing accapella;
“Jesus love the little children, all the children of the world….”
Later at the graveside, everyone was given a white carnation to place on the casket. They lowered the little box and the mother let out a scream of grief that made my knees weaken and my heart want to scream with her. I looked down at my white carnation sprayed blue and thought…every life is valuable; every life has meaning- no matter how short.
So, I guess I mentioned my baby, the one I never held, not in grief nor to seek out sympathy of any kind but more to validate the existence of that life. A life short lived, held only in my womb like a dream. Yet, loved and valued from the moment it was conceived.
Jesus loves the little children.

New friends on Xanga and Blogger

I found this quote today on a friends xanga site , she is new to the xanga world and blogging. Stop by and say hi!

Now about the quote, maybe you have heard it before? It was new to me and hit me with a holy yes!

Brennan Manning:

" Quit keeping score altogether and surrender yourself with all your sinfulness to God, who sees neither the score nor the scorekeeper, but only His child redeemed by Christ. " ═ Abba's Child

I have another friend who has just joined Blogger he Walksinthewoods! You won't want to miss his writing. He is humble and a gifted writer ( and much more!). Check him out and throw him some encouragement.

Tired-Not the sleepy kind

Tired of effort,
Worn from the fight.
Thoughts race,
Opinions rise,
Speculations distract,
Rumors wound.

Silence is a virtue.
Quiet is under rated.
Even as an extravert,
Being still,

Resting

Quiet,

Silence,

is gold.

Too many

man made rules.
Too many walls.
So many subjects,
Too many words.

I like words

and yet sometimes
There are too many;
Spoken,
thought,
shared.

Words are not always preceded by thought.

Everyone wants to be heard,
No one wants to listen.
Everyone wants to be right,
Cutting edge of thought
and opinion.

A voice crying in the desert of my soul says :
“Be quiet, Be still,
Spend time in My Word.”

What is the rest?
Noise,
Interference,
Static.

Turn off the world and let me hear you Lord.
Turn off my mind and whisper my name.
All that’s within, Give it to Him.
Make still Lord, Come heal Lord,
And whisper my name.

ZAP! ZAP!- 2 Kings 1:1-11

Some passages of scripture just amuse me! This passage below makes me smile.

My imagination gets the best of me. I imagine Elijah’s tone being very matter of fact. I imagine him almost bored with the situation. I also think the angel of the Lord in vs. 15 has a great line and should be par-phrased with a New Jersey accent….

But most of all this passage makes me wonder.

Do we tremble at the word of the Lord?
As men and women of God, can we call down the fire of heaven?
Makes ya wanna say ZAP! ZAP! Doesn’t it??! LOL! ;)

– If you don’t have a clue what I am talking about take a minute and read the passage below!


2 Kings 1
The Lord 's Judgment on Ahaziah
1 After Ahab's death, Moab rebelled against Israel. 2 Now Ahaziah had fallen through the lattice of his upper room in Samaria and injured himself. So he sent messengers, saying to them, "Go and consult Baal-Zebub, the god of Ekron, to see if I will recover from this injury."
3 But the angel of the LORD said to Elijah the Tishbite, "Go up and meet the messengers of the king of Samaria and ask them, 'Is it because there is no God in Israel that you are going off to consult Baal-Zebub, the god of Ekron?' 4 Therefore this is what the LORD says: 'You will not leave the bed you are lying on. You will certainly die!' " So Elijah went.
5 When the messengers returned to the king, he asked them, "Why have you come back?"
6 "A man came to meet us," they replied. "And he said to us, 'Go back to the king who sent you and tell him, "This is what the LORD says: Is it because there is no God in Israel that you are sending men to consult Baal-Zebub, the god of Ekron? Therefore you will not leave the bed you are lying on. You will certainly die!" ' "
7 The king asked them, "What kind of man was it who came to meet you and told you this?"
8 They replied, "He was a man with a garment of hair and with a leather belt around his waist." The king said, "That was Elijah the Tishbite."
9 Then he sent to Elijah a captain with his company of fifty men. The captain went up to Elijah, who was sitting on the top of a hill, and said to him, "Man of God, the king says, 'Come down!' "
10 Elijah answered the captain, "If I am a man of God, may fire come down from heaven and consume you and your fifty men!" Then fire fell from heaven and consumed the captain and his men.
11 At this the king sent to Elijah another captain with his fifty men. The captain said to him, "Man of God, this is what the king says, 'Come down at once!' "
12 "If I am a man of God," Elijah replied, "may fire come down from heaven and consume you and your fifty men!" Then the fire of God fell from heaven and consumed him and his fifty men.
13 So the king sent a third captain with his fifty men. This third captain went up and fell on his knees before Elijah. "Man of God," he begged, "please have respect for my life and the lives of these fifty men, your servants! 14 See, fire has fallen from heaven and consumed the first two captains and all their men. But now have respect for my life!"
15 The angel of the LORD said to Elijah, "Go down with him; do not be afraid of him." So Elijah got up and went down with him to the king.

Now don’t anybody get carried away…..The Sons of Thunder were rebuked by Jesus for wanting to call fire down from heaven on those who didn’t respond or behave as they thought they should. ( Luke 9:54)

If I am a woman of God....... :)

weakness and temptations

I have a weakness for dried Mangos. I buy them at Costco and to my shame...I can eat through a whole bag by myself. If they are in the house.....I am aware of their presence in the cupboard. It takes all my will power to fight the urge to take another and another. I justify myself and say..."it's fruit!"
I have gone weeks without buying them so the temptation would not be there.
Yesterday, I passed by them twice in Costco. A little voice said..." go get them, there are worse things you could be addicted to."
Justification won over and now they torment me in my home. Nothing seems to silence them except when the bag is empty and then the guilt comes. ( you should see the calorie count on these things!)
The Mangos may not be the worse thing in the world to be tempted by but the process of temptation is the same. It's all apples and....in this case mangos!

Change

Some change is good.
Like a metamorphosis
of a caterpillar to a butterfly.
Wings are given,
A fuzzy worm learns to fly.

Some change can paralyze.
Like Joni Eareckson Tada,
in a moment everything is different.
God says “My grace is sufficient;
my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Some change is for growth.
A seed placed in the cold dark ground,
The pruning of a rose bush,
The plowing of a wild field.
All, in time will produce a greater harvest.

God places us in an ever changing world.
Living through experiences that are unpredictable,
Relationships that can shift,
Weather and catastrophes that can terrorize.
In all of it, he says,
“I the Lord do not change.”

Today change becomes known to many. Whatever change may come to you,trust in the one who is greater. Trust in the one who never changes.
He is the Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.

His name is faithful and true!

What I consider loss

A few weeks ago we concluded a Bible study on the life of Paul. I was inspired by the words Paul wrote in Philippians chapter 3.
vs. 3-4 says “….we who serve God by His Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh-though I myself have reason for such confidence.”
Then Paul goes on to list his credentials within the Hebrew faith. He list what he could boast about by human standards and yet ends his impressive resume with vs. 7 “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.”
He even is so bold as to say “I consider them garbage that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.”

I began to think about the things that I could boast in, my “Army credentials” and I wrote the following:

I was dedicated to God under the Army flag before the age of 6 months.
I was a Jr. Soldier by the age of 7.
I was an Honor Jr. Soldier, Commissioner sunbeam, a graduate Corps Cadet and enrolled as a Sr. Soldier by my 15th birthday.
I attended every Youth Councils and worked every summer at an Army Camp.
I was a corps helper for a year and went on Summer Service Corps the summer before I entered the training school.
I was commissioned as an officer at the age of 22.
I am a fourth generation Salvationist on my mother’s side, a fifth generation Salvationist on my father’s side.
I am a 3rd generation Officer.
I know what it means to be “Army,” both the good and the bad.

But, as Paul…
"Whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake for Christ. What is more, I consider everything loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage that I may gain Christ and be found in him, Not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law ( or good programming :)-Carole's addition ) but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.”

Number 4 turns 4!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA!



May 16th - Emma Jayne Bate

From the look on her face I would say the party on Saturday went well! We saved a few presents for her to open on her real birthday and she will also take cupcakes to her school.

Love this!

I can't seem to stop listening to this song!

Lyrics

I am not clever enough to have the song playing on my site so check out this link, choose this song and others at the bottom of the page.

Mother's day

My MOM

Red balloon game in the hallway.
M& M’s tossed, from a window high.
Ice cream cones just after shopping.
Memories of my mom, and I.

Sitting on the sandy beaches,
Splashing in the Kittles cove.
Skating on the frozen lake top,
Warming by an old wood stove.

Steaming bonnets in the kitchen,
Pointing to the songbook line.
Yorkshires cooked for Sunday dinner,
Movies, just the “girly” kind.

Now I look at my own daughters,
I’m the mom, how can that be?
When they stop to think and ponder,
I wonder what they’ll think of me.

Quotes of the evening

These quotes are from the instillation of our National Commander last night at the temple in New York.

" We need a leader who will call the legions of salvation soldiers to battles worth fighting!"
Commissioner Philip Needham in his charge to Commissioner Israel Gaither.

"We need to know what it is to be serving in the smile of our King" Commissioner Israel Gaither

" God doesn't take second hand glory! It is all for His glory.." Commissioner Israel Gaither

" Soldiers don't hide in citadels!" Commissioner Israel Gaither

Wild Life of Montclair

I know God created all living things.......

but..

There was a big,huge, size of a basketball, groundhog on my deck tonight.

The dog scared it to the fence of the yard and then caught it between it's teeth...shook it hard and then dropped it...only to look back at the 5 of us screaming at the top of our lungs like little girls! ( ok! so four of them were little girls)

I have seen some big rodents before but this wins the prize!!

I have never seen groundhogs in our yard but our neighbor now tells me he has seen two. He also said they live in the creek near our house.

My dog has all her shots but by law she now needs to get another shot. ( there was blood seen after the struggle)

My husband is in Britain. Most people have the impression that I am independent...(they are wrong and not just when it comes to squirrels on steroids!!)

My daughter was to have a four year old birthday party in our back yard tomorrow.....

I'll be lucky to get her near the back door.

To tell you the truth.....I've been looking under my feet and over my shoulder ever since I saw it. You'll be lucky to see me in the backyard untill I shake it off.

Pest control said to call animal control.

Animal control said to call the police and if it is as big as I said...they told me it is probably pregnant.

What would the police do??

Yuck!

These things only happen when husbands are on band trips !

If you go to the link you can see the fun he is having!!

Intimate Intercession

I just finished this book. I enjoyed it so much and it will be one of those books that I will read again and again. Take a peek inside at this link:
The Sacred Joy of Praying for others

Here is a quote that was included in the book:
“I think about people I know, the saints with their swollen ankles or their knobby hands, the rickety prayer warriors who don’t have the physical strength to open a pickle jar but who set whole legions of demons flying for cover whenever they kneel. Some are pious misfits, holy eccentrics. Most are just ordinary, with nothing but the presence of God to distinguish them from all the other people on the face of the earth.”- Mark Buchanan.

I have been so busy lately but when I have had a moment this book has been inspiring. It has warmed my heart from the cold monotony of “list” praying and has called me to an intercessor prayer that fills heaven with a sweet fragrance.

BUSY

New Jersey Youth Councils this weekend…we leave today. My oldest daughter will be joining us…the first Youth Councils for her. WOW! They grow so fast.
May 6th is a special day, not only is it Youth Councils but more importantly in our house, Lydia my second daughter turns 12! She was upset that the Army always has youth councils on her birthday so we did a big bash with 12 kids last weekend.
May 6th will be a big day for David Payton and Marika ( last name to hard to spell…soon to be Payton) they will be getting married in Ithaca, N.Y. and a Baker wedding at our corps same day! Yeah Tracy and Brian!!!
We have Cadets on Sunday which is good since Al is here with three kids and I will still be at Youth Councils.
So it is a busy weekend and Monday is officer’s councils for N.J., they have asked us to speak about the corps. All the corps in the division takes a turn sharing what God is doing- Monday is our turn.
Then Tuesday the N.J. Youth Band leaves for the tour of Scotland and Ireland. Alastair is going with the youth band and will stay over in Britain waiting for our corps band. Our corps band has been invited to play at Royal Albert Hall at the end of the month beginning of June. So he comes back after all that. In- between all this we will have some of the wedding visitors from the Eastern Europe Command staying with us after the Payton wedding. It will be fun to see them!
In short, pray for us…it is a busy time and so much is happening.
God is good and He is faithful!
Carole

Dry bones- vast Army

Ezekiel 37:1-10 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Ezekiel 37

The Valley of Dry Bones

1 The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones.
2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry.
3 He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?"
I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know."
4 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD!
5 This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath [a] enter you, and you will come to life.
6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.' "
7 So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone.
8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.
9 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.' "
10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.


Only you know Lord if change is possible.
If I preach the word of God faithfuly - speak out your word and If I call for your breath, your Spirit to come and breathe new life into us.......
Will the God of Ezekiel bring it all together once again?

"and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet"- A VAST ARMY.

Thoughts on grace

Tim Miller has written some good thoughts on grace...they got me thinking. No time to put it all together....this is just what came in the moment. I am sure the list could be much longer. Thanks Tim!

Radical grace
A grace that saves
A grace that stoops down
A grace that listens to the long winded
A grace that hugs the clingy
A grace that welcomes the homeless
A grace that loves the legalist
A grace that forgives the unforgivable
A grace that forgets past offences
A grace that cares for the traditionalist
A grace that embraces the confused
A grace that comforts the wounded
A grace that gives boundaries
A grace that brings justice at just the right time
A grace that punishes wickedness
A grace that gives every possible opportunity to repent
A grace that doesn’t overlook but gently calls to account
A grace that pursues
A grace that knows it all and loves anyway
A grace that will call me a friend
A grace that will risk reputation for me
A grace that knows when to humble
A grace that knows when to praise
A grace that has no strings attached
A grace that overflows
A grace to give
A grace to share
A radical grace for those who do not dress like me, think like me, look like me, smell like me, see things the way I see them or agree with me……even when I know I am right.;)
The same grace that I want for myself
-undeserved
Give me, Lord, to share with others
-unreserved.