I am the mother of five children. I had a miscarriage between Natasha my third daughter and Emma my forth. Why would I share something so personal on a blog site? I am not totally sure. All I know is that today I need to write it, to make it known.
We don’t always understand why certain things happen. Why some suffer and others never seem to suffer- as if it can be measured.
Today, I went to a funeral, a funeral for a six month old baby. The mother had been living at our shelter. She had the baby prematurely and it grew from two pounds to eight pounds.
I can’t say that I have ever seen a baby in a casket before. When we walked in we were led to the front of the Baptist Church to view the little one in his white christening outfit. The service began with the minister stepping up to the pulpit and singing accapella;
“Jesus love the little children, all the children of the world….”
Later at the graveside, everyone was given a white carnation to place on the casket. They lowered the little box and the mother let out a scream of grief that made my knees weaken and my heart want to scream with her. I looked down at my white carnation sprayed blue and thought…every life is valuable; every life has meaning- no matter how short.
So, I guess I mentioned my baby, the one I never held, not in grief nor to seek out sympathy of any kind but more to validate the existence of that life. A life short lived, held only in my womb like a dream. Yet, loved and valued from the moment it was conceived.
Jesus loves the little children.
We don’t always understand why certain things happen. Why some suffer and others never seem to suffer- as if it can be measured.
Today, I went to a funeral, a funeral for a six month old baby. The mother had been living at our shelter. She had the baby prematurely and it grew from two pounds to eight pounds.
I can’t say that I have ever seen a baby in a casket before. When we walked in we were led to the front of the Baptist Church to view the little one in his white christening outfit. The service began with the minister stepping up to the pulpit and singing accapella;
“Jesus love the little children, all the children of the world….”
Later at the graveside, everyone was given a white carnation to place on the casket. They lowered the little box and the mother let out a scream of grief that made my knees weaken and my heart want to scream with her. I looked down at my white carnation sprayed blue and thought…every life is valuable; every life has meaning- no matter how short.
So, I guess I mentioned my baby, the one I never held, not in grief nor to seek out sympathy of any kind but more to validate the existence of that life. A life short lived, held only in my womb like a dream. Yet, loved and valued from the moment it was conceived.
Jesus loves the little children.
5 comments:
Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life Carole.
When we first became divisional youth leaders, one of my corps cadets lost two of her siblings in a house fire. The corps cadet had been spending the night at a friend's house. Her siblings were found huddled in the closet of their bedroom. The children were around 2 and 5.
I had never been to a funeral that was so sad. It was heartbreaking.
you made me cry...i don't know what to write..it just makes me realize how precious life is... I love you.
One of the American missionaries here lost her son a few months ago. He was a soldier in the Reserves and had only been in Iraq a few weeks when he died.
Last night was our Women's Prayer Fellowship and we were praying for her (she wasn't there though). I said something like, "God, we don't know what she's going through, but You do; You are the only one in this room who has had your child die." Then I realized that it was quite likely than among the 9 of us someone had had a miscarriage, so I immediately added "grown child".
In the words of the title of a book, you'll hold that baby in heaven!
Thank you for sharing such powerful words: "every life is valuable; every life has meaning- no matter how short."
I think of women everywhere who have suffered the loss of a child. The world is so harsh. May God draw them close to His heart and bring healing. Only He can.
Thanks to everyone who has made a comment.
Every life is valuable.
You may only be a wisp of weight on your feet, but I've always felt that you have the heart of a lion and can tenderly lie down next to the lamb.
Courage is forged in the fire. Your courage to share one of your deep battles is a powerful witness that faith stands up in real life; forever!
John 1:4 comes alive in your witness,..... “light still overpowers darkness”.
Behind those brown eyes are many stories of courage, thanks for sharing one of them.
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