I will need a box of tissues today!

For all those who helped with Anya's evangelism question and all those who helped her to raise money so she could be the maid of honor in David Payton and Marika's wedding---THANKS!
Today my friend Anya arrives in the States. Today she will be in my home. Today I will be able to hug her, laugh with her, cry with her, listen to her, share with her.
Pray for her husband and little girl Lena who are missing her in The Republic of Georgia. Pray for her corps in Rustavi and the leaders of the Eastern Europe Command.
There are so many from that command that I will not be able to "beak bread with" unless it is God 's will to someday send us back. I love them, I miss them. Through Anya and our visit, I will be remembering them.

Corkboard Judgments

"She was elusive. She was today. She was tomorrow. She was the faintest scent of a cactus flower, the flitting shadow of an elf owl. We did not know what to make of her. In our minds we tried to pin her to corkboard like a butterfly, but the pin merely went through and away she flew."
Jerry Spinelli in his scholastic book StarGirl


My 7th grader came home with this book yesterday. She was excited about it and said it is about a "new" girl. The quote above was on the back cover. I wondered if my daughter likes this book so much because she understands what it is like to be the "new" girl. Even I could relate to the words on the back cover. As an officer’s kid I know what it is like to have people trying to "pin me to a corkboard like a butterfly." Come to think of it, I don’t think we have to be a “new” kid on the block to have that experience. We often try to put people in categories, neat packages or "pin" them down so we can figure them out. The hope I see is found in the end of the quote…"but the pin merely went through and away she flew."

May we all learn to live above other people's judgments.

As a pin hinders the flight and very life of a butterfly so our words and judgments can harm the flight of one's spirit.

Looking deeply

I don't dig beneath the surface for things that don't appear before my own eyes.

~ John Singer Sergent

Sometimes I like to stand before a painting and get lost in it.
I attended the Boston Museum of Fine Art School, a long time ago.
At the Museum students associated with their school could get in free. I took advantage of this as often as possible. One of the paintings I stood in front of and sometimes even sat on the floor in front of was John Signer Sergent‘s Mrs. Fisk Warren and her daughter. ( pictured above.)
I am not sure if it was his style that drew me to this painting or the looks in the eyes of Mrs. Fisk Warren and her daughter. I think it had something to do with how he caught the relationship of the mother and daughter leaning on each other. I found it comforting especially as I was learning to live on my own at the time (without Mom or Dad!). I was also thinking of my future and wondering if I would have children, maybe a daughter and if I would have that same connection. Years later, I now look back at this picture and I still am drawn in. It is the style, the faces, the comfort that I see in the relationship caught on canvas. I now have four daughters of my own and realize that the peace on their faces captivates me. :)
This past Friday my husband and I took our girls to the Metropolitan Museum of Fine Arts in Manhattan. We stood together in front of Van Gogh, Monet, Renoir and even a few John Singer Sergent paintings. His style reminded me of those days in Boston.
Running through the museum with my four girls was fun. Through the Egyptian exhibit, past the Tiffany stain glass windows, through the statue hallway and even through the modern art rooms. We passed through centuries together and some paintings caused us to stop and stare…they pulled us in.

A glimpse of the Divine

(Michelangelo's God from the Sistine Chapel)



The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection.

~Michelangelo

Making a mountain out of a mole hill!

When my daughter Heather was 4 years old she got her first splinter in her hand. I tried my best to remove it gently but it was difficult since Heather was screaming before I even touched her with the tweezers. The splinter was in the palm of her hand and almost at the center. I coaxed and pleaded with her and then finally I said in frustration "You must be still if I am going to get this out!" Heather grabbed her little hand from me and opened it up so we could both look at it. She then said "Mommy I am sorry I am screaming but it really hurts....( now touching the center of her palm and rubbing it gently with tears still on her cheeks) ... it hurts just like Jesus with the nails on the cross."
I looked at her wide eyed and grinned thinking... WOW! Are we dramatic in our family or what??!! I am sure the location of her splinter had something to do with her train of thought.
Then the question came to my mind.....
How often do I turn the splinters of life into a cross to bear?

Easter may have come and gone for us but today was Easter for my friends in the Eastern Europe command. May you experience resurrection power every day!

He Lives!

May our light and momentary troubles achieve for us an eternal glory that will far outweigh them all!

2 Corinthians 3: 16-18 (NIV)
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Lord of the Dance

Sunday we joined with the Central Presbyterian Church for our Easter service. We are sharing space with them while we are waiting for a new building.
We sang the Lord of the Dance.

How awesome is the thought of our Lord so free in His Spirit that He dances through it all!

In-between The Cross and The Resurrection

This day,
The in-between day
When all is lost and Hope has died.

We give up,
We grieve,
Confusion has it’s way.
We think back on
Words said,
Events experienced,
Things we thought we understood.

This day,
The in-between day,
We feel like we’ve been had.

The group brings no comfort
Loneliness sets in.
And satan foolishly thinks he wins.

This day,
The in-between day
When all is lost and our Hope has died.

We sit in darkness
Unaware of what tomorrow will bring.

Psalm 37:6 “ He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, The justice of your cause like the noon day sun.”

( Philippians 3:7-11)

The day in-between the Cross and the Resurrection has always intrigued me.
The first disciples, the friends of Jesus they didn’t know what was coming. I can not imagine what they went through on the day in-between.
Jesus was gone- dead and buried.
All their eggs were in one basket! :)
Nothing made sense anymore.
The poem above came to me today before my feet hit the ground this morning. It's there "as is"- as it came to me.
I think for me, I have days like this at times, “in-between” days where I look back and doubt all the Lord has done and said. Days, where satan seems to win and laugh at me for my foolish faith.
Lord, help me to remember that tomorrow is a New Day and The Victory will be more than we could ask or imagine. We know the story and what the next day brought for the disciples and his followers. The example has been set, keep us faithful Lord, even in the “in-between”.

He is Risen!

CRISTOS VOS CREST!
VI ESTNO VOS CREST!

Christ is Risen!
He is Risen indeed!

When we lived and served in the Eastern Europe Territory, every Easter we greeted people with the above phrase. Every conversation on Easter day began with those words.
I really miss this tradition.

Last night at the shelter we had a Bible Study on the Case for Easter. The book outlines the facts that we have to prove the resurrection.

We read in the book of John the account of Mary seeing the risen Lord. I love this portion of scripture.
The Bible study teacher Beth Moore helped me understand this portion better. She believes and I agree with her that we miss some very important body language in these verses.
Let me explain:
Imagine how excited, how devoted, how upset Mary had been and now Jesus was there in front of her!
I imagine that when Jesus said “do not hold on to me” that Mary didn’t reach out to touch him…..but it was more like she tackled him! Grabbed hold of him like she was never going to let go!! She lost him once and she would not loose him again! Jesus was saying “do not hold to me for I have not yet returned to my Father.”
Some synonyms for the word hold are: grasp, clutch, seize, cling to, embrace, and cleave to.
If we read that portion again with any of the synonyms for word hold. We can imagine Her clinging to Him.
He was trying to let her know…..He was not staying. He would have to go back to the Father; she would need to learn how to cope without him there physically.

Jesus gave Mary a task, a responsibility in that moment. He told her to go and tell “the brothers.” (The disciples) So Mary Magdalene the women who had once been filled with 7 demons was the first to share, to proclaim, to preach the good news which is Christ is risen! There is victory over death and sin!
Her message, the first message ever spoken about Jesus “I have seen the risen Lord!
None of the men believed her. They were not ready for her message. But soon they would know that what she saw, what she proclaimed was true.
Ken Greer wrote “It was in garden ages ago that paradise was lost, and it is in a garden that it is regained!”
A woman was the first to give into a word of deceit and a woman was the first to speak the Truth that would restore all mankind who believe the lies of sin and satan.

May this weekend be a celebration of our living Lord who has the power even today to bring life to any situation! We serve a Living Lord!

CRISTOS VOS CREST!
VI ESTNO VOS CREST!

A Spiritual Calling

"Your profession is not what brings home your paycheck.

Your profession is what you were put on earth to do with such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling."

Vincent Van Gogh

Prayer from ca.337

I arise today

Through God's strength to pilot me;

God's might to uphold me,

God's wisdom to guide me,

God's eye to look before me,

God's ear to hear me,

God's word to speak for me,

God's hand to guard me,

God's way to lie before me,

God's shield to protect me,

God's hosts to save me

From snares of the devil,

From temptations of vices,

From every one who desires me ill,

Afar and a near,

Alone or in a mulitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and evil,

Against every cruel merciless power that opposes my body and soul,

Against incantations of false prophets,

Against black laws of pagandom,

Against false laws of heretics,

Against craft of idolatry,

Against spells of women and smiths and wizards,

Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.

Christ shield me today

Against poison,

against burning,

Against drowning,

against wounding,

So that reward may come to me in abundance.

Christ with me,

Christ before me,

Christ behind me,

Christ in me,

Christ beneath me,

Christ above me,

Christ on my right,

Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down,

Christ when I sit down,

Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,

Christ in the eye that sees me,

Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through a mighty strength,

the invocation of the Trinity,

Through a belief in the Threeness,

Through a confession of the Oneness Of the Creator of creation

St. Patrick (ca. 377)

I have heard some of this prayer before when other people have prayed, not realizing it was from St. Patrick ( as in St. Patrick's Day!). The bit I highlighted I have never heard before and it really resonated with me.

The Basin and the Towel

This past Sunday we sang this congregational song to the Salvation Army tune of Brantwood.

I was so moved by the words that the old tune didn’t distract me as it could have.
(I placed in bold the phrases that spoke to me the most- I could have put all of it in bold!).

The Basin and the Towel

The basin and the towel
And God upon his knees
What graciousness is here,
What holy mysteries!
How needs of mine assail me when
I watch the Master and his men.

Such love he bore his own,
All selfless to the end,
To take the servant’s part,
On dusty knee to bend,
And girded with humility
He kneels to minister to me.

His lowliness is might,
His meekness majesty,
His holy hands can touch
A traitor lovingly!
Let pride be broken when it sees
That kingly love upon its knees.

The basin brims with grace
As Jesus comes again.
He holds the towel to me
To serve men in his name
To share in Christly ministries
I can but fall upon my knees.

Words: Edward Read

My heritage

I heard today that if you don't know where you have been ( your history) you will have touble finding your way. ( your future)

Therefore, I look back as I have been reminded this weekend and today of my heritage.




I met some relatives from Canada this weekend. We are all descendants of Rosa Jane who was my Father’s maternal grandmother. Rosa Jane who is pictured here at the age of 18 in 1898 later….had ten children! 5 boys and 5 girls. ( some of her grandchildren include my father- Lt. Col. Norman Voisey, Major Len Ballentine, Major Colleen Price- as you can imagine there are many more...I just mentioned those I have met with this past week.)

My Aunt on my mother’s side just posted a picture of my maternal grandmother passing out "The War Cry" as a cadet (seen below). She would have been around 18 in this picture. If Retta was around today April 10th, it would have been her 89th birthday. She had four children.

So my history includes these beautiful women who were active in The Word and in spreading the gospel.
If I look forward to my future- my four girls-I have quite a lot to pass on to them.
God is faithful from generation to generation to those that love Him and keep His commandment. (Gen 20:6)

No leg to stand on!

It never ceases to happen, I will preach a sermon and then the next week or even as early as the week before the sermon is preached…God makes a point that the words are just as much for me as for anyone else!
I preached this last Sunday on how, perfection is found in Christ. How no one is perfect yet we are called to be like Christ. I shared some of it on recent blogs.
It may not seem like a big deal to most but God knows how to humble each of us in His own loving way. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent!)

The phone call went like this:
Me: Hi,
Cathy: Hey! Where were you tonight?
Me: What do you mean where I was tonight? (Panic sets in and corps calendar rushes past my mind too quickly to read)
Cathy: Oh! You forgot???
Me: (silent trying to remember and see if there is anyway to pull this off without admitting that, I forgot andI still have no idea what we are talking about.)
Cathy: (wanting to help) Oh, I would have called earlier if I knew you forgot, I thought you were just busy.
Me: (still without a clue) No, I forgot. I totally forgot.
Cathy: Well, your present was there. That’s why I assumed you were busy. Who brought your present for you?
Me: Cathy, I still don’t know what you are talking about…( tail between legs- HUMBLED, feeling humiliated….would like to make crackling sounds and loose connection mysteriously!)
Cathy: (Sweet and now feeling my pain) Oh, I feel so bad, really! I would have called you earlier, I am sorry- so sorry. It was Tina’s bridal shower tonight. How did your present get there?
Me: I didn’t send a present; it must have been from the other Carole. (Mind thinking, almost every woman from my corps would have been there- heart dropping quickly….realizing more humiliation to come)
Cathy: I should have called earlier; I am so sorry, so sorry.
Me: Cathy, it isn’t your fault…I just blanked out. It isn’t your responsibility to remind me of major events. I am not sure how I forgot ….but I did. Don’t worry, thanks for calling.
Cathy: what are you going to do?
Me: I’ll give the family a call and tell them I blanked out and I am sorry.
Cathy: I wish I called earlier.
Me: Thanks!
Cathy: Bye
Me: Bye

A phone call was made to the family. The Mother said “ You have four kids, don’t loose sleep over it, it will be ok.”
Me thinking- wish I could blame this on the kids!
How interesting is it that our nature kicks in and looks for anything that will help us “save face” in uncomfortable situations. We will even blame anyone who may be standing near by.

Prime Example: Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the snake and the snake didn’t have a leg to stand on!
( bad joke….feelings of embarrassment returning!)

Spring, well almost!

Spring

Flowers break through
The dirt,
trees budding,
Hope warmly falls fresh upon us
as spring awakens our senses.
Winter is sometimes too long.
We forget what warmth feels like.
We forget what beautiful means.
Our souls become dormant, cold
We sleep, we work, we walk, we wake
All we know is winter upon us and in us.
Then out of the cold
Flowers break through the dirt - trees bud,
And there is warmth again.
Hope and new life.
March 16th, 2005

This past week we have had some great spring days......flowers are blooming, blossoms on the trees.

Today as I look out the window, snow is falling.........again ( sigh) .

It reminded me of a poem I wrote a year ago.

Winter is sometimes too long!

Don't let your spririt be discouraged, you may see snow but spring is promised and is here!

Mercy and Jealousy

League of Mercy Sunday was this past Sunday at the Montclair Corps.
We send out 8 groups of people with the War Cry magazines, a small gift and a quartet to play Easter music. The 8 groups cover approximately 16 nursing homes in the area.
As we were entering a wing of a large facility, the quartet was starting to set up and an elderly man named "Bill" came up to me. He immediately began telling me how he used to teach a Bible study in this very nursing home before his health began to deteriorate. He went on to say that a Christian television station is how he is feed spiritually now, keeping it on in his room almost all the time. Bill had such light in his eyes, joy on his face yet his body was frail and weak. He told me he was born again in 1953! He seemed to muster up some excitement in the opportunity to share that fact. As we were speaking one of the other residents yelled for the band to stop playing…"Make them stop playing!!" she screamed. Bill turned and smiled at the women then looked straight back at me and said “She better get used to that kind of music for it is all we will hear in Glory!” I agreed, matching his enthusiasm and said “We will have plenty of time to worship there.” In that very moment he got a twinkle in his eye like Santa Clause, leaned in closer to me and said with a grin of a mischievous boy “Yes we will, and I am closer to getting there than you are!”
I could almost hear the taunting of ….nah, nah …na, na na! in his tone.
I can not tell you what effect his words and even more so …his attitude had on me in that moment.

“I am going to get there before you!” he said with a grin.

All I could say was…"You’re making me jealous Bill!" and to tell you the truth, he was.

Vincent

Ray Livingston and his friends came to Montclair Sunday night. They sang love songs and songs from Broadway. We enjoyed the presentation as we sat around round tables drinking coffee, eating cookies and cheese balls!
We heard songs from Miss Saigon, the Phantom of the Opera and even the 80’s Ballet “Almost Paradise” sung as a duet with Lindsay Waiksnoris.

One of the songs that Ray sang on his own was "Vincent". Which is a song about Vincent Van Gogh and it describes in a very poetic manner the works of Vincent and the tragedy of his death. I have always loved this song. I was 9 years old when my Grandmother did a program in Home League on famous artist. I remember very vividly the story of Vincent as she told it. I remember being moved deeply by it and intrigued. When I look at his paintings I always think that I would have understood him. I remember thinking that at the age of nine.
I found this quote on line that is said to have been written by him:

"I want to get to the point where people say of my work that man feels deeply."

After the evening program at Montclair, I spoke to Ray about the song and he told me if I could write a sermon that included this song he would come and sing it for me! That sounded great to me and I left wondering if it was possible…
I’ll let you know.
In the mean time here are the lyrics to “Vincent” and his painting "Starry Night".

VINCENT
Don McLean

Starry starry night
paint your palette blue and grey
look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills
sketch the trees and the daffodils
catch the breeze and the winter chills
in colors on the snowy linen land.

And now I understand what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen they did not know how
perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry starry night
flaming flow'rs that brightly blaze
swirling clouds in violet haze
reflect in Vincent's eyes of China blue.
Colors changing hue
morning fields of amber grain
weathered faces lined in pain
are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

And now I understand what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you
but still your love was true and when no hope was left in sight
on that starry starry night.
You took your life as lovers often do;
But I could have told you Vincent
this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

Starry starry night portraits hung in empty halls
frameless heads on nameless walls
with eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the stranger that you've met
the ragged men in ragged clothes
the silver thorn of bloody rose
lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

And now I think I know
what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.

They would not listen they're not list'ning still
perhaps they never will.

Being Perfect

Matthew 5:43-48 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Love for Enemies

43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies[b] and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

How perfect are we??? We strive for excellence in so many areas of our lives.
We pride ourselves on high standards and making good choices…yet we are far from perfect!.
In this passage Jesus calls us to perfection, "as our Heavenly Father is perfect", each example He gives is in relation to relationships…..
If our "Christianity" doesn’t have a positive effect or any effect on our relationships…
the people around us…
the ones we like and dislike….then maybe we are not Christians!
If we are perfect in every outward attempt and display but are not relating to those around us with the excellence and high standards of love that Christ lived by…then we are not Christ like!
Christ was about people. Christ is about relationships with others and relationship with His Father….everything else was secondary.